How to Value Yourself when You’re Feeling Worthless

Some of us learned from the best (thanks mom) on how to devalue ourselves and dive into the pit of “I’m not good enough,” or cute enough, or rich enough, or whatever enough. The reasons why, or the frequency in which we end up here, are  irrelevant. What is relevant is the solution.

“Yes!” you may say. “I want to feel like a million bucks, regardless the balance in my bank account and the number of times a year my mother doesn’t call. …But how?”

Well, it’s really pretty easy, once you put your mind to it.

Invest a few minutes a day and spoil yourself. The activity need not be elaborate or expensive but something that begins to change the way you perceive yourself. You are worth it. …Whatever it is, you’re worth it. Find what makes you feel that way. And do it, often.

Here are a few things that help me see the bling beneath the bullshit:

Play with my cat — animals reduce stress. Beyond that, I enjoy harassing challenging my two-year-old cat and watching how she responds. I am awed by her authenticity, which, in turn, encourages me to embrace my own.

Exercise — there’s a reason exercise shows up on lists like this. As long as it’s an activity we enjoy doing, exercise makes us feel better–about ourselves and the world. Exercising does not come naturally for me; I’ve had to make it a habit. Eating cashews until I want vomit and then hating myself for it comes naturally.

Skin Care – the skin is our body’s largest organ yet it’s often neglected. I recently started using organic coconut oil to moisturize my face. It takes two extra minutes to apply coconut oil to my face in the morning (coconut oil does not come in quick-dispensing containers like many lotions do) but it makes my skin feel divine. Seriously. One day I’ll apply it to my entire body, without calculating cost per square inch.

Read for enjoyment — a rarity, unfortunately. But don’t assume you have to set an entire rain-soaked day aside for this. I have a new book on writing that I crack open every chance I get, even to read one page. If I have time to read 3. Great. A chapter? Roll out the red carpet.

Order out — no, not food. Love. When you can’t muster love for yourself call someone who can fill in. Just hearing a friend’s voice reminds me that there are people in the world who like me. This tactic works best when implemented on a regular basis.

Hit the road – sadly, my schedule these days mandates that I plan my motorcycle rides. Just firing up my Ducati and feeling its v-twin rumble in my chest makes me smile. One 30 minute ride can adjust my attitude for days. If you don’t have a bike, don’t worry. We all have an activity that we love to do yet rarely make the time for. The next time you’re tempted to push that activity aside, remember what it does for you.

Buy time – yes, it’s possible. I try to delegate tasks I can’t do efficiently, don’t need to be doing, or don’t enjoy. The new Web site design, for example, is out of my league. I could take the time to piece it together–and hate the world in the process–or hire someone who knows what the hell they’re doing. And that frees up a ton of time to do things that actually feed me. Buying time can be as simple as asking someone you trust to pick the kids up from school, or your partner to go grocery shopping (did you know they have services now that do the shopping for you, and deliver). You could send your laundry out, hire someone to clean your house, or employ a personal chef. The options are endless. If you hire a raw food chef and his name is Russell James I’m coming to live with you.

Your list may not look anything like this. The goal is having one. Jot down a few activities that make you feel like a million bucks and work at incorporating one every day. Remember, these don’t have to be time consuming. If nothing else, take a few minutes to listen to music, sing a song, laugh, twirl (yes, twirl), meditate, or day dream.

As your value goes up, so does the value of those around you–like real estate. And in that sense, take pride of ownership.

What makes you feel priceless? Please comment below. Your answer(s) may just be what someone else needs to see.

Tagged as: Exercise, growth, Inspiration, Motivation, Personal Growth, Self Improvement